It happened over the course of time.
I want to explain how I got here but I don’t want to get in the habit of feeling that I have to defend myself. For so long I’ve explained to every single person I’ve developed a relationship with what I’ve tried to do as a bonus mom and how desperately hard I’ve tried to avoid being labeled or seen as a step mom in every way.
I’m over it now. Call me step-mom. I certainly feel like one.
I barely ask my husband how the kids are doing. I don’t ask him if they or when they are to come over. I don’t plan anything with them in mind…and I don’t feel bad about it. I know how I came to this place. Well, to be completely honest, I was pushed here but I don’t need that explanation to shield myself from any negative comment made about how I operate as a stepmom now.
It occurred to me this evening as I was reading to Jazmine and thinking about tomorrows tasks that neither Bella, Scott, nor Anthony were on my radar. I don’t feel guilty. Amazingly, I feel free! I hold on no longer to thinking that if I think about my bonus children enough, I become a better bonus mom and thereby push myself even further away from being the dreaded step mom.
Nope. No more. Just call me step-mom.