It happened over the course of time.
I want to explain how I got here but I don’t want to get in the habit of feeling that I have to defend myself. For so long I’ve explained to every single person I’ve developed a relationship with what I’ve tried to do as a bonus mom and how desperately hard I’ve tried to avoid being labeled or seen as a step mom in every way.
I’m over it now. Call me step-mom. I certainly feel like one.
I barely ask my husband how the kids are doing. I don’t ask him if they or when they are to come over. I don’t plan anything with them in mind…and I don’t feel bad about it. I know how I came to this place. Well, to be completely honest, I was pushed here but I don’t need that explanation to shield myself from any negative comment made about how I operate as a stepmom now.
It occurred to me this evening as I was reading to Jazmine and thinking about tomorrows tasks that neither Bella, Scott, nor Anthony were on my radar. I don’t feel guilty. Amazingly, I feel free! I hold on no longer to thinking that if I think about my bonus children enough, I become a better bonus mom and thereby push myself even further away from being the dreaded step mom.
Nope. No more. Just call me step-mom.
Wifommy 
Girl, I always told you that you are way better than me! Hold your head up and always remember you only have control over your actions and thoughts, not those of the kids’ moms. You have a direct say over your midget and continue to enjoy her and the blessings that arise from raising a child who knows Christ.
Thanks Tika!