My husband said something. He said that I give Tanya too much power when I separate myself from him during events for the big kids. I never viewed it from that perspective before. I previously asked the lord to change my presets. Like the buttons on the car radio, I want the Lord to change my separation preset to togetherness.
I am always with my husband at any other event for any other person. I thought that being away from him for big kid events was a good sacrifice for me to make for them. Honestly, I can see now, that that didn’t help them. It protected me. It prevented me from interacting with Tanya. It insulated me from having to speak with her. I acted in fear. I was afraid that I would say or do something that would anger her (which didn’t take much to do) and she would make it even harder or impossible for my husband to see his kids. Even if that was the best course to take then, it isn’t any longer.
The kids are big. The youngest, Scott, is 18 and soon to be a high school graduate. There is no need for that protective, insulative behavior any more. I am free. I am free to stand with my husband in any and all settings. THEY have to adjust to us.
Wifommy 