In The Midst Of Life


As I ride down to church with my family this morning, I began to read a devotional. ¬†This morning, I fell into daydreaming and fantasy as a mental escape instead of opening up God’s word first. Once I came too, we were significantly behind in schedule and needed to hustle to leave the house, which is why my quiet time happened in the car this morning.

I read the scripture passage and began to read the devotional part. I must have started, stopped, and reread the same paragraph what felt like 20 times before I was able to finish! I kept being interrupted! Hubby wanted to talk. Jazmine had things to say. It was a tag-team effort ūüėĄ.

I would have lashed out. I would have fussed. I would have done something or said something to show my displeasure at their behavior while I was reading. But God! I recognized their need for me. I poured out the patience God pours into me. I listened. I asked questions. When they had exhausted their verbal reserves, I finished that paragraph of my devotional.

I am so glad God sees me, knows me, and keeps me in the midst of life. He will do the same for you.


This Is Where I Meet Him

You can search this blog for the post about living in the ark.  God brought us out of the ark last year.  I always envisioned what my quiet time space would look like in my new home.  I would see me sitting at my kitchen table looking out a bay window.  Sitting in a Lazy-boy in my living room looking out the window.  I always imagined it being a peaceful place of solace.

Real life? I have two girls that love being near their Momma. I can’t even pee by myself!


This is where I meet Him.

This is where I have those precious morning moments of quiet prayer with supplication, thanksgiving, and requests to God. I don’t always make it every morning. I desire to but sometimes my morning pee is so rushed, I forget to pray. Baby Grace is crying for her tata-meal, my husband needs the bathroom to get ready for work, or I forgot to grab my bag with my prayer journal in it from the bathtub before sitting on the toilet (the tub is out of reach from the toilet).

Oh but when there are those few moments in the morning that I remember to take, where I meet with the Master. ¬†Oh how precious it is. I don’t have a window to stare out of. My “quiet” time is usually accented by an almost one-year old’s knock and whine on the other side of the bathroom door. ¬†More often than not, my quiet time involves me praying aloud with my eyes closed while Baby Grace bangs on the bathtub and Jazmine holds me tight.

I hope they see their Mommy’s reliance on Christ and learn to rely on Him as well.

What Quiet Time Should Be…

I like spending time with Jesus by myself. All alone. Just me and Him. Bible open. Soaking it all up. 

I have recently gone through a biblical renovation as a mother and how I live with and in front of my children (more to come on that later). Those changes caused me to see this mornings quiet time differently.

Baby Grace had just completed her second round of breakfast and was playing nicely.  I took that time to catch up on my devotional.  I am trying to lose weight so I had taken a supplement a bit earlier and needed to eat something immediately. I got my cheese and crackers, opened my devotional and got ready to dive in.  Shortly thereafter, there was a whine and patting of my leg. I picked Baby Grace up and gave her her third round of breakfast.  Once I got her situated on my lap, I began to read scripture out loud. 

This was not the scene I had envisioned but God spoke to me just then. “What better way to have quiet time with Me then to share it with her?”  It was a very sweet and tender moment. Me, the baby I asked God, prayed, and fasted for, spending time with the One who brought us together. 

What an awesome way to begin a day. 

Beer Lahai Roi


Our Sunday service begins at 11:30AM. ¬†Baby Grace’s nap usually starts around 11:30AM. ¬†Because Baby Grace is so alert, getting from her from the car into church does not happen without her waking up. ¬†She will then stay awake until after we get back in the car after service is over. It is COMPLETELY off of her schedule! ¬†We usually have a pretty cranky baby girl on our hands until bedtime.

Being First Lady is hard. I want to serve side-by-side with my husband. ¬†I want to be there with him. ¬†The girls and I are his cheering squad, with me being the head cheerleader. I don’t like being late to church or causing us to run behind. I like to walk into church with him, as a family. After a few Sunday’s of having a cranky baby girl, I finally told my husband that I think it best if I stay in the car with her so she can sleep as long as she can. That usually results in me missing all but the sermon but the baby and the rest of our family has a much more enjoyable day.

One such Sunday, I was feeling pretty pitiful about being in the car, not going inside. ¬†I didn’t have my quiet time before leaving home that morning so I sat in the car doing a devotional, feeling lonely. I watched other members enter the building and was helpless to explain why I, First Lady, the Pastor’s wife, was in the car with a sleeping baby while my husband and oldest daughter were inside.

Enter God.

The devotional I was reading referenced Isaiah 40:11 which says, He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, And carry them in His bosom,¬†And gently lead those who are with young.”

I could have jumped for joy! “And gently lead those who are with young”! That’s a Mommy! ¬†That’s ME! ME! ¬†I am pretty sure it didn’t look like I was being a model Christian that morning. I sure didn’t feel like it and if I had seen me in the car not going into service, I would have passed judgement on myself. But God! It didn’t look like it to me, but my Sunday morning car devotional was acceptable in His sight. ¬†He is the God who sees (Beer Lahai Roi), knows, and understands. Hallelujah! Amen!

I Dropped The Ball

I don’t read the Bible to her. I don’t pray with her. ¬†I even relinquished saying grace and her nightly prayers to be ¬†her responsiblity. I thought her seeing me have my quiet time was enough. ¬†She asked to have quiet time with me and I said no. It was my alone time with God. ¬†I thought teaching her to respect that was paramount. I stopped teaching her Bible verses because, after a year of doing it, I thought she was too young. Besides, she wasn’t really memorizing it. She was repeating it but I didn’t see it take hold. At the Lord’s prompting, I get to Sunday school so she can go to her class. ¬†She looks forward to it. ¬†She enjoys her teacher. ¬†I thought that bit of Jesus teaching was enough. ¬†I do not have any set aside teaching time at home. ¬†I do make sure she watches her letter sounds video everyday. I do make sure she has some type of school lesson everyday. I do work on obedience and the consequences of disobedience but I completely dropped the ball with the most important education/life lesson of all. ¬†Teaching Jazmine about God.

Click the following link to read the article that God used to prick my heart.

No matter how many activities we may involve Jazmine in, or how many other Christian outlets/influences we expose her to, NOTHING is a substitute for my role as her mother to teach her about Jesus. extracurricular activities should support what is already being taught at home. ¬†It is a supplement. That is the same view I will take on Jazmine’s biblical studies. Everything else she is involved in is a substitute for what I (and her father) am already teaching.

This blog post is written after spending the last 24-hours worrying and fretting over the possibility of Jazmine entering Kindergarten in two years. I was prepared to do half-day Kindergarten but that is no longer offered in my state. ¬†The only way to avoid a full-day program through the local schools is to enroll in a private school ($3,400/yr which is currently not financially foreseeable) or homeschool. ¬†I looked up the guidelines to began to formally homeschool in my state and quickly became overwhelmed. ¬†The state didn’t ask for anything major but because I am new, it didn’t take much to freak me out especially after finding out there was not part-time program anymore. ¬†It’s not offered ANYWHERE here. ¬†I fretted and worried on Jazmine knowing too much scholastically¬†and being too bossy socially. ¬†I worried about her adjusting to an entire day away from home. I cried when I realized that her 8:30-3:15 school day would leave me a meer five or so hours a day to spend time with her. The first hour or so in the morning would be consumed with getting her ready and making it to the bus stop. ¬†The remaining hours when she returned home would be consumed with any home assignments, dinner, bath, and bed. No where near the amount of influential play and learning time I am accustomed to.

All that fretting over worldly geared, albeit important, school and I blunder on the most important learning she will ever encounter.  Christ.

I am humbled at my arrogance to think that I satisfied her biblical teaching requirement with just Sunday school.

I am eternally grateful that God has made me aware of this at Jazmine’s tender age of three.

I have been putting off my personal Bible Study for the day but now see (again) how absolutely vital it is for me.

I look forward to Jazmine’s waking so I can pour Jesus into her each and every day.

I will not rebuke her when she request to read and study with me.

I am a changed woman and, with God’s help, I will forever stay that way.