One sentence spoken from my daughter Jazmine. One wishful thought that I can’t fathom how to accomplish. Either of these can send me down an unprofitable thought rabbit-hole.
I recall a Gospel song There Is No Failure where one of the lines in the song is, catches you before you fall. It is so very true.
I have often heard God’s voice speak to me as I am peering down the bad thought rabbit-hole. I hear truth to my ears but because it wasn’t what I wanted and wasn’t a way to get what I desired, I often dismissed it with an excuse. I can clearly see now that was what I was doing. Only after receiving truth was I able to detect the lie(s) I was choosing instead.
This really happened.
I was driving home with my girls in the car. I had already been noodling how I was going to sign Jazmine up for all of these camps this summer and how I needed to keep my ear to the ground for when registration opened up so we wouldn’t miss out. At that point in the car, I wasn’t currently thinking about that but it was still on mental radar. Jazmine says, “Mom, I want to do ballet, Karate, and soccer. I already told you I wanted to do ballet.” And that she did. She has mentioned ballet on and off since she was three. The first emotion I felt was guilt. Why hadn’t I put her in a class yet? I couldn’t remember. Because I was already working under my own pressure regarding camps, hearing my child restate a desire she had and adding that she wanted to try new things, I felt like a failure. Summer isn’t here and I already felt like a slouch. I was trying to figure out how I would juggle getting her to karate, finding a ballet and soccer camp, and making sure Baby Grace had some semblance of a schedule during all of this. Before I succumbed and really tried to piece this all together, I heard the Lord say, “Many adults try things for the first time in their adulthood.” And BOOM! Instant pressure relief.
I didn’t even try to preface God’s words with any ‘I will try Jaz’, ‘let me talk to Daddy and we will see what we can do’, or ‘it all depends on what we find’. NOTHING! I said exactly what I heard. Jazmine responded with, “Well I just want to try things in my childhood.” Masterful response but I was already free from any guilt threatening to overtake me. Just a few weeks ago, I would have dismissed what God said with an excuse and try to make a way myself.