As thick as my skin is, I am just as sensitive.
I can handle rudeness or what I perceive as thoughtlessness from strangers, acquaintances, or folk I have not formed an opinion of. I have a harder time processing it when it comes from friends or people I respect.
Most of the time, what I have received as rudeness or perceived as being thoughtlessness is usually an expressed personal preference that I am on the opposite side of. Meaning, it’s not rude or thoughtless to ask someone other than me to do them a favor. It is not rude nor thoughtless to seek counsel, hang out with, or to prefer someone else over me. It is simply that persons preference regardless of how highly I regard that person or value their friendship.
I can process that entire thought process for someone else in mere seconds but when it comes to experiencing it personally, it can take me at the very least, 24 hours. I start to question if I’ve offended them in some way. I start to think back to see if something changed in our relationship that I had turned a blind-eye to that has put me on the outs with them. I think I’ve done something wrong to no longer be considered trustworthy in their eyes. Then, I find myself making numerous reassuring statements to myself, stating that it is okay for my friend to make choices that include others but not me. I have to tell myself not to call and see why I wasn’t asked. I have to process my little hurt feelings so I can emerge wearing my big girl panties without having wet them. Why? Because one decision made on a Thursday does not mean your relationship is ruined. It is completely unrealistic to think otherwise. On paper, it all makes sense. When experienced however, it does give one pause.
I don’t think we outgrow some of these things as adults but I do know that we must learn how to deal with them in an adult way. Offenses are going to come, intentional or otherwise, real or perceived, by strangers and friends. Our maturity will determine how we handle them.