Not Everyone’s Cup Of Tea


It was the end of service.  I was making my round of greeting people and chit-chat. I purposefully went over to one woman first. We both had babies. We were both familiar to being married to church leadership.  I was thinking, ‘this is a match made in heaven’, a face I can look forward to seeing each week at our new church home.

I was wrong.

My genuine smile was met with polite acknowledgement. My universal mother-to-mother banter was met with lukewarm answers. My attempts for conversation was not returned.  I walked away.

I was a bit bewildered. I kept self checking to see if maybe my body language was too strong, my tone of voice to excitable, my general questions somehow deemed too personal. I got nothing.

Then it occurred to me. I am not everyone’s cup of tea.  I know that is very arrogant to admit.  I can see that now but at the time, I was really surprised.  I had put my best (and genuine) foot forward and got NOTHING in return.  I thought genuineness won all the time.  I was shocked!  I can’t recall that happening before!  Not in a church setting. Not with someone with whom, on paper, we had a lot in common right off the bat.

I still don’t know why she didn’t cotton to me but I do know this.  It wasn’t anything I did or did not do.  It wasn’t anything I said, did not say, or should have said. She just wasn’t a Xara fan and that is okay.  MANY times in my life, I have not been fans of folk before word one was exchanged but this is my first time being on the receiving end of things. (See! You do reap what you sow!)

So, now, when I see her, I don’t make a beeline for her. I give a warm hello from a socially acceptable distance, and keep it moving.  No hard feelings.  No bitterness. No nothing.  Just an acknowledgment and acceptance of her desire to be distant and I am fine with that.  If there is ever and opportunity to serve her or her family, I will gladly do it but not to see if a friendship develops. If it does WONDERFUL but my purpose is to serve the Lord with gladness regardless of the outcome with people.


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