Part one of our state’s child support mandate has been completed. The second part, turning 18, won’t come into fruition until later this year.
I screamed and hollered at Bella’s graduation. I cheered as loud as I dared while wearing my 3 month old, however, I had to be honest as to why I was hollering and cheering so earnestly. Although I was excited about it, it had little to do with celebrating her accomplishments and had the whole to do with the drama filled 18 year span (14 of which I was a part of) coming to a close.
No more birthday parties. No more major holidays. No more Summer vacations. No more visitation. No more calls for money. No more using my husband.
Will we see Bella for her birthday, holidays, vacations, on weekends? Hopefully so but we don’t have to deal with her mother anymore. We don’t have to deal with her insults, put downs, condescending tone, or demeanor. No more “change of plans” which was code for us having to do something different to accommodate her. No more last-minute calls about things Bella is involved in, expecting us to show up. No more cries for help in the form of a humble-brag (“I work too hard to have no breaks and no time to myself.”) never once asking for what you want. No more trips to court. No more fear that she might lie again and take my husband back for more money. No more forced encounters. No more!
When I said goodbye to all adults present at her graduation dinner, it was a permanent goodbye. I don’t have to see those people EVER again! There is no upcoming event on the horizon with which I (nor my husband) am obligated to be a part of. We don’t have to share space with Tanya (Bella’s mom) any more! All communication about and with regards to Bella can come directly from Bella herself.
I have waited long for this day. It seemed like it would never come. At times, it seemed like it would be thwarted. I am so grateful that it was not! LIBERATION! EMANCIPATION!
I feel so free!
I don’t have to put up with those adults any longer! They can miscommunicate all they want and it not affect me. They can deflect all they want and it not effect me! They can create all the drama in the world and it will not effect me!
If you, or someone you know, are still in the throes of the 18 year span, be encouraged. The end will come. I can not say that it won’t be paved with tears, heart ache, and unnecessarily hurt feelings, but the end will come!
I can’t even say it is a bitter-sweet end. It’s just sweet.