Looking back, my greatest mistake with Jazmine was that I shared her too much. I tried to involve certain parties more than necessary to try to make up for their loss in other relationships. Noble thought but it cost me pounds of flesh. I didn’t think I had a right to speak up because of the position that person held in the family. Not to mention, this is my husbands family so that makes it all the more touchy.
It wasn’t until baby Grace was born that I realized just how much I gave away and how some things with Jazmine are what they are because of the decision I made seven years ago to try to include certain parties. It is a deep regret that I will NOT make again.
I AM MOMMY (hear me roar!)
With the exception of my husband, EVERYONE ELSE’s place is a FAR distant second! We are the most important relationships she can have. Period. It is common for friends and family to want to forge a relationship with a baby from day one; establishing their importance in their life. That adults desire does not superseded my authority! If I say no, it’s no. My decision rules.
The problem I am having is that if I give an inch one day, folk think they can take a mile the next day. Ohhhh no! Not happening. Not this time. Folk will know their role even if I have to write it down for them.
I hate pulling rank. Why can’t folk just respect my position? Why does it require me to put them in their place? I wear baby Grace. I wear her as much as I wanted to wear Jazmine but was fearful to do so because I thought I’d be perceived as a baby hog. Well guess what? She is my baby. My long awaited for baby and I WILL hog her all up. These years are precious and I am painfully aware that they don’t come back once they are gone. People try to vi for the same position as mine in my child’s life. If not the same position, then at least one of extreme importance as if they don’t forge it today, all is lost. The truth is, I could care less about any other relationship baby Grace had with anyone outside of Jazmine, her father, and I. If you are not one us, you get welcomed in on my (our) terms; not your own.
I WILL protect my mothrhood!