Just A Little Encouragement Is All That I Ask

I wish someone would tell me.

I wish someone would tell me that it’s all going to be ok.

I wish someone would tell me that my daughter won’t be scared from watching her mother during this pregnancy.

I wish someone would tell me.

I wish someone would tell me that they can see that my pregnancy is a rough one.

I wish someone would tell me that the mom guilt I have been struggling with is normal and not condemn me for it.

I wish someone would tell me that my bad days don’t accurately reflect my life as a whole.

I need someone would tell me that one moment in a day or several moments in one day won’t ruin my daughter for life.

I need someone to tell me that it’s okay to feel completely void of anything left to give day three back from school after winter break.

I know all of this has to do with being pregnant.  Hard homeschool days come. When they’ve come before, we either break for the day or go back to it after having some serious recreational time. We would go to the mall, visit a friend, get some ice cream, watch a movie, anything but our normal school routine. This time around, I have been stripped of anything and everything that used to make me feel like me.

I need someone to tell me that I can make it for the next 7 weeks.

I need someone to tell me that it’s okay if I don’t make it and request to have this baby early.

Outside of my husband (primarily) and my mother, I have not reached out to people.  My hormones, pain, and discomfort have me going up and down so much, I don’t trust myself with being with other people for long. I don’t want to ruin any relationship I currently have because I am having a hard time.

I need someone to tell me that sending my daughter with her grandmothers isn’t pushing her away even though I need a break from the guilt of not being as hands on of a Mommy as I and she are accustomed too.

I need someone to tell me that God will provide other homeschool groups that we can be apart of and join once I heal from delivery.

We’ve had to put so much down regarding activities because I can’t keep up.

Just tell me it will get better!

Just tell me that the Xara part of me will come back to me after the baby is born.

Encourage me in a believable way and not with cliche phrases.

Until someone tells me, I will try to keep telling myself but rest assured. When this season is over, and I have a grand testimony of how God brought me over, I will tell everyone so that if you or someone you know goes through something similar, they have a living witness that trouble don’t last always!


4 thoughts on “Just A Little Encouragement Is All That I Ask

  1. Tika

    Yes, it gets better…if you don’t mind hearing that from me. My 1st 2 kids are 21 months apart; the 2nd and 3rd are 20 months apart; the 3rd and 4th are 16 months apart to the day, and the 4th and 5th child are 21 months apart. Each pregnancy had its own hiccups and some complications, but by God’s grace and the love of my hubby and true friends, we made it through the last 6.5 crazy years of being pregnant and giving birth. You can and will do it. You and your hubby have raised a resilient and smart daughter who will understand this short season. Embrace the inconvenient times and the hiccups. I’ve learned that people don’t truly understand the hormonal changes that occur in pregnant women, or how unlike herself she can be without her even knowing she’s not quite herself. Since you’ve now experienced another blessed pregnancy and the unpleasant side effects of it, maybe you’ll be able to be that voice of reason and compassionate person to the next pregnant woman who crosses your path who seems to just have some “issues. ” Bringing a child into this world is such a gift, a blessing, but it takes its toll on a woman’s body, mind, and emotions. I hope you allow friends, besides your hubby, to step in for you, run errands, feed you, be Jesus’ hands and feet towards you during this season. Women who have experienced what you’re going through will jump to help you, if you ask and make your needs known. Hang in there and know that your daughter is fine and will continue to be fine, because you already laid the foundation for her. You got this!

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