I missed a post Monday. I am sorry about that. I thought I had one all ready to go but that seems to be the way of things lately. I told Jazmine that the baby took all of my get-up-and-go and in its place is if-I-have-to-I-will.
There is a tremendous amount of guilt that comes with that realization. I have seen so many amazing women who have multiple children handle a new pregnancy so much better than me. I don’t know how they do. That’s just not my story.
People keep asking me how I feel and my standard response is ‘I feel like crap”. Most people take offense to that and like to remind me that I prayed and asked for another baby. I had to explain to one person recently that how I feel has nothing to do with how I feel. Meaning, my physical discomfort has absolutely NOTHING to do with my joy over carrying a new life. I wish people understood that.
If I can equate it to something more understandable; think of a person having elective surgery to remove a mole from their face or something that isn’t technically medically necessary but would do wonders for that persons quality of life. Their recovery is not enjoyable but the end result is well worth it to them. It’s the same with me except my mole is a baby.
Just because I feel like crap doesn’t mean I’d rather not be pregnant.