Step-Mom Misses Another Milestone

Bella went to prom yesterday. 

She called her father, my husband, about two months ago to tell him she had been asked to go. Things started out pretty standard. Calls to go dress shopping so he could $ee the dresses. Calls to grandparent to pay for other accessories. Calls to pick up and take to appointments to get ready for prom. Same old same old. We are hip to the game. Not surprised at all.

I had decided in my mind those months ago that I would not attend. Tanya and I don’t like each other and this her her only daughter’s prom. It’s her day too. I would have only stayed in the car as it is. 

Prom night came. My husband not only supported, but expected my decision to stay away. He reminded me that no, this is not what we wanted nor what environment we set out to create but, it takes all parties to make something beautiful and those parties never came to the table. It is what it is. 

It was settled. 

Then, I understood that all other occupants of the house would be headed down to see her off which would make it painfully obvious who wasn’t there (me). I got a little nervous. I felt like her sixteenth birthday all over again. I didn’t want to choose unwisely again. A significant part of me felt it right to go. The other part reaffirmed that my presence would bridge no gaps thereby not being productive at all. 

I choose to stay behind. What lessened the blow was that three of the five others going decided to stay behind as well. Their reasons were not based on me but of their own volition.

Blended families require work, bend, and stretch. My decision was not for everyone else but it was right for us. 

I just found out that Family Life now has a blended families focus. I know I will be visiting.


2 thoughts on “Step-Mom Misses Another Milestone

  1. Being a blended family, too, the hardest thing for both of us is decisions for, about and with the children. Things you normally had to makes simple decision for, now require a debate at times. And sometimes the best thing you can do is remain silent and stay home. We have adult married children, high school children and elementary age children and the vast issues arise weekly, if not daily. Ron Deal has great suggestions at and we watched a few of his DVDs before our marriage, but in the end, Wisdom from God is what we will always need to daily pray for. Hang in there momma!

    • Thank you so much Virginia! Your words encouraged me so. Yes, being blended makes things that should be simple exponentially harder. I will make sure to visit that site. Thank you again.

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