Bella went to prom yesterday.
She called her father, my husband, about two months ago to tell him she had been asked to go. Things started out pretty standard. Calls to go dress shopping so he could $ee the dresses. Calls to grandparent to pay for other accessories. Calls to pick up and take to appointments to get ready for prom. Same old same old. We are hip to the game. Not surprised at all.
I had decided in my mind those months ago that I would not attend. Tanya and I don’t like each other and this her her only daughter’s prom. It’s her day too. I would have only stayed in the car as it is.
Prom night came. My husband not only supported, but expected my decision to stay away. He reminded me that no, this is not what we wanted nor what environment we set out to create but, it takes all parties to make something beautiful and those parties never came to the table. It is what it is.
It was settled.
Then, I understood that all other occupants of the house would be headed down to see her off which would make it painfully obvious who wasn’t there (me). I got a little nervous. I felt like her sixteenth birthday all over again. I didn’t want to choose unwisely again. A significant part of me felt it right to go. The other part reaffirmed that my presence would bridge no gaps thereby not being productive at all.
I choose to stay behind. What lessened the blow was that three of the five others going decided to stay behind as well. Their reasons were not based on me but of their own volition.
Blended families require work, bend, and stretch. My decision was not for everyone else but it was right for us.
I just found out that Family Life now has a blended families focus. I know I will be visiting. Familylifeblended.com