continuing from part 1…
I prayed specifically for what I was fasting for two times a day, morning and night. My prayers changed a bit along the way as I became more aware of what I really wanted and got even more honest with the Lord about it. I looked for God around every corner, around every 28th day of my menstrual cycle, around every interaction my husband had with others in his calling. I saw God’s breakthrough for someone we know. God told my husband their breakthrough was for them and it wasn’t ours.
“Nothing” happened. “Nothing” means that nothing physical happened. We are still in the same place we have been for the past 8/9 years (I don’t want to count them anymore. Counting the years comes with depressing thoughts). Nothing I prayed about has come to pass in the seen but something did happen!
I know I was obedient to God and that speaks volumes to my heart and grows my relationship to God. That is priceless! Also, my testimony is that trusting has nothing to do with time. My friend, whose post started this whole thing, said her breakthrough came 3 days after her fast ended. Well, its been more than 3 days after my fast ended and my hope and trust in God has increased even more. I can’t exactly explain why but I am more hopeful today then I have been before. I am more hopeful today then when we, my husband and I, first started out in this season of our lives. At the beginning of moving into this Ark, we had a six month plan. I was very hopeful in those six months. I was very hopeful in the first year. After that, my hopefulness was in the negative for a very very long time. For the first time in forever (yes, that was a Frozen reference 🙂 ) I know, I feel, I understand that my hopefulness is wholly in the Lord. It is not in a job opportunity on the horizon, a new thing to try, or any other tangible reason.
Through this fast, I’ve learned that trusting God has NOTHING to do with time. We serve a God that lives outside of time and space so how can I trust Him with time limits attached to my faith? How can I truly trust Him when I have limitations aka “safe guards” against disappointment?
It is easy to read about Abraham and Sarah. It’s easy to read about Joseph. Their story begins and ends in the same book of the Bible. But Abraham, Sara, and Joseph did not know when God’s fulfillment would happen in their lives. God did not give them a date and time. It wasn’t until after 24 years that God told Abraham that he would have a son within the year. Up until then, he was told he would have a son but wasn’t told when. Poor Joseph was exalted and brought very low twice in his life before God raised him up permanently. He didn’t know when or how the dreams God gave him would come to pass. Why did I think my life would be any different?
Trusting God has NOTHING to do with time! That is what I learned. That is why I can, not just remain hopeful, but can excel in ever-increasing hope each and every day because I know God will take care of, provide for, and make a way for me (us).