For those of you who wish you could reset the day, I hear you.
I raised my voice. I yelled. I was short tempered more than I was even tempered. I over reacted. I felt like my emotional nerve endings were exposed and I was boxing anyone who even looked like they were going to bother me.
I was a terrible Mommy today.
Jazmine started sneezing a few days ago. That is her body’s way of saying it needs help fighting allergens. Did I pay attention? No. I did not start giving her her allergy medicine daily. I did not give her her nose spray. I did not put Vaseline in her nose. What did all that grant me? A child who has a moderate case of post nasal drip on the eve of our family vacation.
This was not my finest hour.
Allergies shouldn’t happen in the summer time! That is what I told myself. Because I did not listen to her body until she started blowing her nose, Jazmine is now suffering. She is sleeping but not without drippy phlegm noises and I, trying to make penance, have not left her side.
I was moody before. Now I am borderline weepy. Why did I yell? Why couldn’t I have listened to her ask the same question for the tenth time in the space of 15 seconds? She didn’t do anything new today? She talks like that EVERYDAY! I don’t know why I am so short. Anthony and Scott are here. That has added some change to my routine. Being Step-Mom to two tween boys can wear the nerves but it’s not their fault either. It’s no ones fault. It was just a sucky day with no cause for it.
I keep telling myself that bad days don’t make bad moms. It is hard to accept that truth in the midst of my feelings telling me otherwise. Y’all pray for me and please pray that I can get rid of her post nasal drip before tomorrow night.