A Non-Custodial Parent’s Fear Regarding Their Spouse

The major concerns regarding Bella are becoming realized.

As far as I am concerned, it’s a lost cause. Things are set.  Who she is has been determined and her path is set.

God can change things in a moment and I am praying that He does. But that is future. Today is a mess.

The most recent major conversation about Bella included a most telling statement given by my husband. He said, “I hope you don’t grow to resent Bella.” That cut me because I could hear his fatherly love for his daughter and I knew I had already come to loathe her visits.

I never wanted to be here. I did not start off as a wicked step mother figure. I was pushed here.

I don’t like to be used and I don’t like to be spied on. I get both when Bella comes to visit.  I am not used but my husband is. Some of that comes along with fatherhood of a teenager but the majority of what is experienced here is blatant usury that can be sniffed out by any mature adult. If Bella comes for a visit, she is gone within a few days.  As soon as the gravy train stops (eating out, center of attention, activities to entertain) she calls her mother/grandmother and arranges to be picked up unbeknownst to my husband nor I.

I am tired of it. I am tired of all that Bella brings with her when she comes. Bella is EXACTLY like Tanya in all the worst ways.  Tanya is an immature adult and Bella is acting as an immature adult in the body of a teenager.

It is truly terrible. It is like watching a soap opera play out in real life and I can’t turn the station.

Moral of the story: If you meet a step mother who seems wicked, don’t condemn her. She’s been through a lot to get there.


2 thoughts on “A Non-Custodial Parent’s Fear Regarding Their Spouse

  1. judahlily

    Your last statement couldn’t be more true. I recently, thru the course of things, had to make the tough decision to no longer be in the lives of my step-daughters. A place I never thought I’d be. It’s a decision that pains me still, and my husband and I catch a lot of negativity for it, but in the end we know it’s the right decision for our situation. Being a stepmom is hard. No matter how we love, or where we stand, it never seems just right. But one thing I’ve learned thru everything is that people are going to talk no matter what you do, good or bad, but no one else has to live your life or live with the decisions you make, so trust Your heart and follow God. Live your life. I’ll keep you guys in my prayers.

    1. Xara

      Thank you Judahlily. I am sure that decision as extremely hard. It amazes me how people think that they can treat you like toilet paper and then be surprised when you protect yourself against their negativity.

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