Coming Partial Circle

With the exception of the infant car seat with stroller, the bathtub, and a dress, I have kept every baby item we had for Jazmine up to size 24 months clothing. And when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. Blankets, infant bath tub inserts, car seats, clothes, clothes, clothes, cloth diapers, socks, bibs, diaper bags, bottles, etc. It was time to give them away. “Our God shall supply all our need according to His riches in glory” without me hording things. I thought it stupid to give away items when planning for another child. But that other child(ren) is not here and there is no expected delivery date for when or how (t)he(y) is/are to arrive. All those items are doing now is taking up space. I was not ready to give them away before because it felt like I was giving up and giving up on what God said. Now, I am ready to let it go and live.

Trying to conceive is like holding your breath throughout life.  I can’t do that anymore.

I wanted all those memories, I mean clothes, to go to a home that needed them. God placed on my heart to donate them to a shelter. I found one and that was in need of car seats and infant boy clothes. Well, I had the car seats but not clothes for a boy. I did have unisex blankets and newborn-6 month clothes.

Packing up all the things I held on to was hard. To go through all the storage tubs and see just what all I had. I told my husband, I could have a baby right now, today and she wouldn’t need a thing (except for diapers and toiletries) for a year! And here I was, picking through it to give away.

The day I was to deliver the donation was a MOPS meeting day. There was a large storage tub size FULL of boy clothes sizes 0-6 months. I told all the ladies, if no one calmed it, I was taking it with me to the shelter. No one did claim it and I donated that as well.

That was a partial circle for me. I had always envisioned myself being pregnant with my twin boys leaving MOPSwap with a hull of infant boy clothes for myself and here I was finding a gold mine’s worth of baby boy items and taking them for someone I did not know.

That was…something. I haven’t come full circle, but I feel like I am at least half-way around it.

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