(Please note. This post is riddled with conception terms).
So, last month, I thought there was a good chance that I was pregnant. I have been using the Period Plus App to chart my periods for years now. Since we removed the goalie two years ago, I have been using it to chart ovulation based on the you-ovulaet-14-days-after-the-first-day-of-your-period theory. I gave up on that a month ago. I even considered purchasing a basal thermometer to chart my temperatures so I could pinpoint when I ovulate.
But then I decided to take the natural route by checking my cervical mucus to see if that would work to tell me when I ovulate. That is what I did last month. I was surprised to see early I ovulated! No wonder I wasn’t conceiving before. With Jazmine, my body was like clockwork; ovulating 14 days after the first day of my period but it hasn’t been right since 🙂
Turns out I ovulated three days after my period ended. My CM was egg whitish and I told hubby it was time. We worked hard y’all 😉
About two days after my fertile period ended, I cramped really bad for about an hour. It felt just like it had when I had the ectopic last year. I still hoped against hope that I was pregnant since I did everything right to get pregnant in the first place. But alas, I was not. The cramping was what it was and my period arrived on time this month.
When I began to bleed, I decided enough was enough. I am tired of carrying around these extra pounds I have labeled as “pre-conception weight”. I am tired of falling for every breast soreness, fatigue, or increased appetite as a symptom for a pregnancy that does not exist. I have had enough. Since I truly believe that this is in God’s hands and that our family is complete even if Jazmine is our only child, then I am going to live like it.
I began to take my weight lose supplements again. I vigilantly watch what I eat. I make sure I meet the minimum exercise requirements I have placed on myself. I do not allow myself to daydream about being pregnant or nursing a newborn. I do not allow myself to daydream about a future with more children in it than Jazmine. It is just me, my husband, and my daughter. Period.