I had a conversation with a married man a few days ago in which it was said to me that, “If Mama,” meaning his wife, “says no, I won’t be going anywhere.”
It would be funny or okay if it was said in jest but he was serious. If his wife said he could not go out and play a sport that he enjoyed, then he could not go.
Isn’t he a grown man? I married a grown man. I want him to be a grown man. I did not adopt a grown child when I married so why would I treat him as such?
For me, retail can be therapeutic. So can an evening by myself, pizza and a movie, an afternoon nap, or thirty minutes on the elliptical machine. I take those when I need them. Further more, my husband sees the necessity of me doing those activities as well. How then could I deny him to do what he enjoys doing? How then is it that wives feel that they can dictate when their husband is free to take time for themselves in activities they like?
The husband is not at the beck and call of his wife (nor vise versa but the purpose of this post is not from that perspective). He is not there solely to provide and do all things on the honey-do-list at nauseum. My husband likes to play video games. It is his release. How dare I tell him he can’t play that! I like to play Candy Crush and listen to books on CD’s while I wash the dishes and put clothes away. If I can do that as my release, why can’t he take the time to do what he enjoys?
We, wives, can lose sight of that importance in our pursuit of order for our households. Wanting things to be in line and done according to how we have planned it out in our minds can not trump our spouses need to relax when he needs to relax.
What really troubles me is how many husbands think this treatment is okay or the status quo for marriages! I have been so quick to call these men punks. What is really needed is a re-education of wives.
(PS. Woman Power by Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a fantastic read)