Even before she was born, I had this idea of how my daughter’s hair would look and how I would do it. I have been sabotaged at every turn.
Jaz’s hair is different from mine. It’s thinner and not as full as mine. It is soft and mine is very coarse. Her hair can not tolerate cornrows and mine tolerates just about anything. Anytime I have put cornrows in, regardless of how short a time they are in, causes her scalp problems. When I plat it in individuals, her scalp suffers as well. If I don’t grease her scalp on a regular basis, and by regular I mean every day to every other day, it flakes and she scratches until she gets a sore.
For so long, I viewed my own daughter’s hair as “other” when I tried those styles and viewed her hair critically thinking about what other people may see her hair to be. The daughter of a homeschooling friend of mine had her daughter’s hair out in a large afro puff. It had no rhyme or reason. It was just out and pulled back a bit with a large head wrap. It looked so cute! That was the beginning of my wake up call.
I came to my wit’s end with Jaz’s hair this week. I had her hair in twist last week. I’ve heard that was a safe style. I have come to understand that that is not a safe style for Jazmine when the twists are tight at the roots. That dawning led me to know that that is why the individual style doesn’t work on her either. The plaits are too tight. I was trying so hard to make it look neat that I missed the obvious. I was so pressed to have her twists look right that I would try my best to make the twist as tight as I could at the base. I always thought twist that were loose at the scalp looked like an old hairstyle that needed to be redone and I wanted my daughter’s hair to look fresh. What did it cost me? A daughter who had sores upon sores in her scalp. I bought tea tree oil and applied it to her scalp for two days straight twice a day. I took the twist out and had her wear a twist out with a bandana pulling her hair back a bit. It looked AWESOME and was the perfect style while allowing her scalp to heal. Why did it take me so long to enjoy this style? Because it wasn’t until now that I realized the twist out is not just taking out twist (hence the name) but you must also separate each twist after taking out the initial twist to achieve the look. (Liiiiightbulb). Then I washed it with a Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Liquid Soap. Poor thing. Her scalp was so open and the soap felt so cold on her sores. She was uncomfortable with the sensation even though I know it was best for her. I conditioned it well afterwards and oiled her scalp with the tea tree oil again. I also put in twist very VERY loosely at the base.
Her scalp is healing nicely. I put some more tea tree oil on it this evening before bed. Her scalp looks much MUCH better! I will take her twist out either tomorrow or the following day.
I tried to oil instead of grease Jaz’s scalp before but she hated the sensation of the oil moving in her scalp. This time, instead of letting the oil run around her hair for a bit before rubbing it in, I will rub it in immediately. Her scalp responds well to grape seed oil and it doesn’t become odoriferous after a while like grease does. Plus it is much easier to apply to the scalp when her hair is in twist.
Hopefully, this is a turning point for my girl’s head. It certainly is a turning point for me.