Our church holds small group meetings once a month. (Small group is a small gathering of church members who meet at several houses). My husband said he was going to attend. Normally, I would have gone with him but this particular Sunday was the NFL Conference Championship games. I wanted to see the games. The house we were going to did not have cable. You can see my dilemma 🙂
I told my husband I wasn’t going to go. He was fine with that and offered to take Jazmine with him. (Score!) They left and I watched the games.
I was ready for them to come home four hours after they left. Small group, the actual meeting part is only an hour where there is an open topic-specific type of Bible study. The rest of the time is eating and fellowship. I was expecting them to be home within those four hours. I sent a text and tried to FaceTime my husband to no avail. He called me back two hours later when they were on their way home. I told him I missed them and they were home lickety split.
When they came into the house, Jazmine came upstairs to me and said look. She smiled. Her front bottom left tooth was gone! Her teeth, the right one is loose too, has been loose for weeks now. She held up the little sandwich bag that held her baby tooth for me to see. I was shocked! If my jaw could have unhinged itself and fell on the floor it would have.
I fired off several rounds of questions: Who took it out? What were you eating? Did it come out while you were eating? Where were you? Who saw it? When did it happen? Did it happen when you first got there? Did it bleed? Did it hurt? Where you afraid? Did you cry?
I wanted a full blow-by-blow. I had missed it! I was not there. I said as much to which my husband, bless his heart, replied, “You weren’t there,” a bit too smug for my liking.
In that moment, I had a choice to make. I could be like my bonus children’s mother’s and be jealous of any memory my child has with her father or I could embrace it, be glad for it, and enjoy this milestone in my child’s life. I choose the latter.
It hurt. It did hurt not to be apart of that especially when I am apart of EVERYTHING else and I fully expected to be apart (and my apart I mean right there in the mix) of this too. I felt jipped. But isn’t my husband allowed to have his own private memories with our daughter too? Yes. Yes, he is. We do a lot of things together as a family but most of our 24hrs are spent in our roles as me being primary to Jazmine because I am a stay-at-home homeschooling Mama. I assumed because of that I would be there for her first tooth. That was not the case. I choose football. I did not know today would be the day her tooth fell out. By the way, it did not fall out, my husband rocked it until it came loose. Had I known that she was going to lose her tooth, I might have made a different choice but I did not know and I made my choice.
Do I harbor resentment at my husband? No. Do I give him the stank eye because he has a memory I do not? No. How many times does he think during his day how he wishes he could be there to experience what Jazmine and I do in real time with us instead of hearing about it when he comes home at night? More times than I imagine I’m sure.
Jazmine losing her first tooth was his, and everyone else at small group :), memory. I can sit back and honestly smile and enjoy that she lost her tooth without resentment…while I wait for the other one to fall out…and that I will not miss! 🙂 🙂 🙂