I’ve dumbed myself down in my motherhood journey. I often find myself in conversations with other mothers who have children younger than my four-year old. Their children are infants thru toddlers so naturally, the conversation is geared towards the developmental milestones or stages of each one’s child.
I don’t belong in those conversations. Unless I am being asked for advice, I have no business in those conversations. That lightbulb just came on in the past two weeks. I found myself swapping stories about what Jazmine did at 8 months or something and while I was speaking, it was as if I had an out-of-body experience. I looked at myself and wondered why in the heck am I coming down to this level? My child is past this. Why am I talking about it as if it’s current? Why am trying to be in this group? Tisk Tisk Tisk.
I am not dumbing myself down just so I can have a conversation. I would rather remain quite and smile and share in the laughter of others. Even if I could share a similar story, I will not. Why? Because it’s not relevant! It’s four years old! To me, that would be the equivalent to a grandmother telling everyone about what Sebastian was doing at 3 years old when Sebastian is currently 42 with children of his own.
Unless I am asked for my advice or, based on the subject of conversation, I know something I share can help them where they are, I am keeping my mouth shut! My child sleeps through the night in her own bed, is potty trained, dresses herself, sets up her toothbrush, and can entertain herself. She is four. I need not be in conversations about anything under four. I have nothing to bring to the table (and I mean that in a good way). I do not have to dumb-down or bring myself back to that stage in my child’s life. I am not teaching her her colors. She knows them. I am not on the fence about whether or not she should play in play dough. She can because she knows where she can play with it and she won’t eat it. She’s four!
I am aware that this new found thought may alienate me from women in my peer circle. I get that. But it will also keep me from regressing. It will make speaking about current Mommyhood difficult at best because neither they nor I can relate to each other but then it will also push me towards others who have children the same age or older that I can glean information from.
I am a proud mother of a preschooler and I am going to start acting like it 🙂