Blog Envy

I started this stinking blog March 25, 2010.  It was slow at first.  I published my first post and thought that because God had led me to do this blog that it was going to take off like wild-fire.  I expected at least 100 people I did not know to find this blog and subscribe to it.  (Please continue to read while you snicker).

I kept at it.  I reduced the frequency of the posts because at times, two posts a week was very taxing.  I also had to learn that I could not be as transparent as I’d like to be in order to protect my bonus children.   I know I had to grow through those rungs and, in my personal humble but correct opinion, I was succeeding and enjoyed the tri-weekly incremental growth in visits to this blog.

….that is until today.

I had blog envy.

When I publish quality, helpful information, I would like it to be seen and know that it did accomplish the goal I hoped it would.  Heck, I might even want to see a comment to attest to that fact.  I’ve gotten used to this not happening in an earth shattering number of views per day, but seeing the success of other blogs…its hard to not think, “when is it going to happen for me?”  It is hard to see such success when you (seemingly) work just as hard at blogging as another but under a lessor liberty.

A mom acquaintance of mine just started a blog recently. I was happy for her.  I know first hand how therapeutic blogging can be to provide an outlet for the non-wifommy* in us all.  I read her first post and, once it catches on, she is going places.  I experienced a flash in the pan jealousy that she could publish her blog on her personal Facebook page. Ah! I remember those days.  Talk about readership!

(Now, to those of you faithful few who read this blog, I want you to know that I appreciate you and thank you for thinking I have something of value to say.  I do not write this post to slight you but to, yet again, share my experience in hopes to help someone else.)

I confessed my jealously as sin as soon as I acknowledged the thought.  I will continue to confess it to Christ each and every time it raises its ugly head until it’s frequency decreases and, Lord willing, ceases altogether.  Until that day, I will continue to publish posts on this blog fledgling and watch God do what He do.




*Non-wifommy is not anti-wifommy (wifommy being wife and mother combined).  Non-wifommy is the part of you that is just you.  Non-wifommy Xara is just Xara; no hashtags attached (#marriedliferocks  #homeschool  #momofpreschooler)


2 thoughts on “Blog Envy

  1. Julia

    I don’t always comment on the posts, but I read each one. This blog may never grow into what you want it to be, but it will accomplish what God wants it to be. This blog could be as much about you being diligent in writing when you don’t see anything happening, as it is about helping those who need it. Whenever they need it.

    1. Xara

      Thank you for always supporting Julia! Would you like our Facebook page? There is also a spot on there that if you like the page, you can invite other FB friends to like it as well. There is not pressure to do this but I thought to ask.

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