God’s Mercy Part 2

“I don’t see anything in your uterus,” the sonogram technician said.

“Ok,” I said.

I felt so stupid.  Right then and there I felt incredibly dumb.  How could there be nothing in my uterus?  I had  not had a period since April 2! I peed on the stick and it had a plus sign! How could there be nothing in my uterus? My breasts were sore, I peed a lot, and I gained weight so that my clothes stopped feeling comfortable at 7 weeks!  I just knew I was carrying twins!  Granted, a sister has been eating but still! I was pregnant! So why my uterus empty? How can my uterus be empty?

I couldn’t figure out what I had gotten wrong. Was it all in my mind? I went back and checked the stick when we got home to verify that I indeed did see a positive sign.

The doctor came into the sono room and gave me the rundown and the plan of action.  To condense what she said, basically, one of two things had happened. 1. I miscalculated my weeks and ovulated later than I thought and I am too early in my pregnancy to see anything on the sono at this point. 2. Either a cyst or an ectopic pregnancy is in my left tube. I was sent to get blood work that same day and she would compare it to blood work I was to get four days from then.

I broke down in the elevator (albeit momentarily.  I had to get a needle prick and that required my immediate attention.) I didn’t understand. I still felt stupid.  Had I known nothing was in my uterus I would not have made an appointment.  I would expect my period to come when it was ready and gone back to living my normal life free of monitoring everything I do for the sake of my womb passenger.

I hate needles. I was so nervous about getting my blood drawn that I wasn’t dwelling on why I was getting it drawn in the first place. I was so worked up. I told the phelbotomist that I was a crier.  She said,”No. No one cries with Catherine.” I was sympathetic to the pride she took in her craft and did not shed a pre-prick tear but I really really wanted too because I was still scared to death!

I squeezed my hand closed and alternately opened it as instructed. I kept my head turned the opposite way.  I felt her wipe my arm with alcohol.  My heart was pumping like a horse. I was shaking on the inside.  Then I heard the pop of the collection tube. I exclaimed, “You did it already?”  I knew you only heard that sound after the needle was in. Catherine said, “Yes.” I had such a whoosh of relief!  I can’t even explain to you how relieved I was. I praised God aloud right then. That was the best needle prick EVER!  I told her so too and I wrote a glowing review of Catherine on the websites survey.  I also asked her if she was working Monday because I had to come back to get more blood drawn.  She said she would be there.

I truly walked in God’s mercy that day and I knew it as soon as I heard the vial pop.

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