I am EXTREMELY blessed by God to have a rather large group of family, friends, and acquaintances in close proximity. With such a large and diverse group, get-togethers are planned often. There were several seasons in my life where I wanted to go hang out but either I couldn’t financially afford it or the needs of my family trumped. Praise God I am not in that season anymore and I have been getting out a lot more.
About a month ago, my husband stated that I was always leaving. I was a bit miffed at this. He considered my outings to include my dance classes which are at night. I argued (to myself) that dance classes were not the same as going out to hang out, although I did agree that the purpose both things serve are the same. I am getting some non-nuclear family alone time.
I am glad I did not purse an argument because less than 48-hours later, he told me he understood why I needed to leave. If I stay in the house, I am never alone! I got a good chuckle off of that.
However, recently, I looked at my calender and saw, after the fact, that I did have several non-dance class outings in a row. For about three weeks I was out on a Saturday early evening, Monday night, Friday night, Sunday night, and an impromptu outing Tuesday night. That does not include a tentative Wednesday night get-together I suggested. That’s a LOT of outings.
My outings are not for a few hours either. When I’m gone, I’m gone, especially if the plans to meet aren’t scheduled until after 5 or 6 in the evening. My goal at that point is not to return until Ms. Jazmine is in the bed. There is no point in having a girls night if I have to come home and be Mom in my full capacity especially when it is past her bedtime anyway. Having to do that pretty much eradicates any fun had earlier in the evening.
That being said, my outing last night has been a fork in the road for me. The night did not go as planned. I had a very important meeting to attend and upon my arrival, I found out there was a get-together planned after the meeting. I had a choice to make and instead of choosing to go home, I went out instead.
I cleared it with my husband. He had no problem with it. I did. I did not make the best choice last night. Yes. I had a fun time. Yes, it did help break the ice between this particular group of women but, I should have passed on this opportunity. I felt sick with guilt when I got home, which was very late. My husband is a saint. He handled it all well and could not understand why I was upset with myself.
I know what I did. I know I could have and should have chosen better especially when the way of escape was clear before me. So, I am hanging up my party hat for a while. I am on self-inflicted punishment for at least 30 days.