(If I’ve said this before, just bear with me because it is not all a repeat )
When I was in fourth grade, my school had a special assembly. A missionary came to speak to us (I attended a Christian school at the time). At the end of the assembly, all of us students were posed the question, “What has God called you to be?” The choices given were missionary, teacher, or Pastor’s wife. We were asked to come forward and tell the missionary what God called us to be. As I sat in my seat, I knew God told me that I was to be a pastor’s wife but I was determined to say teacher. I walked up to the missionary and when I got close and it was my turn, I blurted out pastor’s wife before I even knew what happened. I determined to say teacher but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.
In high school, I vaguely remember asking God if I could be a wife and stay-at-home mom like my mother was, but I do remember telling people that when I had children, I was going to stay at home with them. I said it with certainty.
In my last year of college, I was struggling to finish. I lost my direction and just wanted to be done with education, get a job, make money, and move out. I prayed and asked God to tell me what I was to do with my life. That is what I said but what I meant was I wanted Him to tell me what career path I was to take. His answer, being the omniscient one He is, was that I would not have a career but have a job. I graduated college and had several jobs but no career path. The phrase jack-of-all-trades master of none comes to mind and would not be far from the truth.
With all the talk of purpose, destiny, finding our passion in life, I thought I was lacking something. I started to ask God, “What did I miss? What is my purpose, passion, destiny?” I was confused. I kept thinking, all I am is a wife and stay-at-home mother of one child. I didn’t think that was enough. It was hard for me to stay at home and not work when we had no in-house children and now it seemed hard to justify staying home with just one child.
That’s what happens when you look at your life through the world’s eyes of what worth and value is.
I saw a link posted on Facebook about women being allowed to serve in combat. I didn’t read it all but from what others have told me, now women are allowed to serve in the front lines. To me, that is another way of masculating women and emasculating men. (I am pretty sure I conjugated masculate incorrectly) All this comes with a price and that price is the family and the strength of future generations.
With that in mind, I now see my worth differently. My calling is to be a wife to my husband (who is currently in the process of planting a church which means he is a pastor and I am a pastor’s wife), and stay-at-home mom to our child(ren). That is my purpose, passion, and destiny. It is a high calling and glorifying to God. I didn’t have to find my passion, walk into my destiny, or discover my purpose. He had already given it to me.
I am done with trying to find something [more] “grand” to do or be. What God called me to be is enough. I am satisfied to my core with His calling on my life and I am not ashamed of it in the least. It is my boast.