Eight Years Later…

My husband and I moved out of our first ever apartment November 2004.  I thought the loss of income, child support payments, and taking Tanya to court were the reasons we had to leave.  Our savings were no more.  We had newly created credit card debt trying to pay for our attorney.  As I stated before, at no point during this time did anyone say to me, “Xara.  You are not responsible for the child support payments.” If someone did say that to me, we would have been in that apartment indefinitely.

I began this Sunday morning as I have been trying to for the past three weeks now. On our way to worship, I earnestly pray and ask God to speak to me words that He wants to say and me not listen for what I want to hear. During the sermon, Genesis 3:24a was read which says, “So He drove out the man.”

Immediately, in my mind’s eye, I was taken back to our days at the apartment.  I saw me packing, bemoaning, and longing to hold on to our space; our symbol of independence. God’s word hit me square in the chest.  God drove us out from there.

All these eight years, I have decided to trust God believing that He was acting on our good.  A couple of years back, I was really wrestling with why we were still her in my mother-in-law’s house unable to move.  Up until that time, I generally assumed we were being punished for taking Tanya to court for custody.  In my mind, if that were the case, couldn’t our time on punishment be up? At that time, God told me that the reason we were still not living in our own space was not because we were being punished for taking Tanya to court.  That gave me more comfort than I could express because the wrath of God is not something I EVER want to experience. But today. Today! Today, the matter was more fully settled with Him being so astonishingly merciful and giving me a reason why had to leave the apartment. He drove us out!

Oh the many intangible goodies our marriage has experienced.  The personal growth I’ve experienced.  The whole submission to the Lord that I rest in.  Submission to my husbands leading that I relish.  All of which I can’t see that we would have obtained in the apartment.

I praise God for driving us out!

PS.  That is not to say that I don’t also look forward to the day that He ushers us in because as I wrote before, these animals stink!


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