I’d had a long day yesterday. Lots of family activity. It wasn’t until after 2AM that I was able to wind down and start to settle into bed. As I was reading the Word, I happened to glance over at Jazmine asleep in her bed. I noticed how pretty she was. The cute shape of her nose, her kissable cheeks, and her pretty eyelashes. I was reminded anew how much I love that girl.
In a flash, quicker than a finger snap, I realized how much of my time was wasted in devotion to future children. In my longing to have four more children, desiring to be pregnant everyday, I missed embracing my family of three.
I speak so much in the future tense, (when the next baby comes or the next go ’round I’ll (fill in the blank)) that I glazed over the present.
My family size is perfect just the way it is right now. Jazmine is here. HERE! Present and living. I can feel, see, and touch her. I have the honor and privilege of raising her. I can hold her and cuddle with her at any moment of the day.
I do long for more children but I cannot dwell on who does not yet exist. I will not miss out on anymore of Jazmine now when it’s just the two of us to favor thoughts on what it will be like with more than two of us.
My family size is perfect and I am going to embrace my daughter.