Husband called today.
He said he got a message from Tanya saying she got tickets for our family to attend Bella’s eight grade graduation.
I don’t want to go.
Why you ask? It’s not because I don’t want to see her walk across the stage because I do. It’s not because I don’t think she wants me there because I think she does. It’s for no reason tied directly to Bella. It’s all because of Tanya and her mother.
I can’t stand them. I really can’t. They are a thorn in my side that I can’t excise. I can’t out nice them. I can’t out mean them. I’ve tried both. There is NOTHING I can do to get ride of or get along with these people!
(Sidebar – by “get ride of” I mean I have not found a way interact with Bella and Scott without having to deal with Tanya and her mother’s foolishness)
I don’t want to go to Bella’s graduation. I don’t want to sit next to them. I don’t want to go to a celebratory meal with them post graduation. I don’t want to hear them attempt to disrespect or belittle my husband. I dont’ want to see the fake displays of cordiality and oneness amongst the blended family adults for those few hours only to go back to their normal nasty selves as soon as the ceremony is over.
I don’t want to endure them trying to build a relationship with Jazmine as if I have not already told them they have NO inroads with her. I don’t want to endure them acting as stand-ins for Anthony’s mom in my presence as if they need to protect him from me because I am not equipped to care for him properly. I don’t want to endure the passive aggressive commands used towards me to clarify that I am not to be in some pictures. (I don’t want to be in their stinking pictures in the first place!) I don’t want to endure them sharing information about Bella, Scott, and their household exclusively with my mother-in-law but purposefully loud enough for everyone else to hear (a passive aggressive way of keeping us informed) but because they are speaking exclusively to her, anyone who dares to ask a question or give imput on the topic gets a smart-behind remark for intruding in on their conversation. (Maybe it’s just me but that behavior is so young. Why not lower your voice or wait until later to say what you want to say? Oh I know why they won’t do that! There’s no drama involved in the direct method.)
No amount of grumbling, complaining, nor tantrum throwing is going to get me out of this unpleasant piece of bonus mom work.
I will go and I will overcome. I will endure and speak when I am supposed to speak. Correct when I need to correct. Protect my cubs when protection is needed. Instruct my cubs in advance that they are to stay near to their father and I. Encourage Bella to enjoy this day and her moment. Support my husband and ache for the moment when it’s time to get back in the car and go home to regular life.