Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that everyone is on average approximately six steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person on Earth, so that a chain of, “a friend of a friend” statements can be made, on average, to connect any two people in six steps or fewer….
I started reading a blog by a non-custodial mother. On her Facebook page, she bluntly stated that her name, Sophia van Buren, was an alias. She went on to say that she still did not want her children to know the whole story why she divorced her husband as told in her book, Illumination.
That simple truth slapped the royal piss out of me.
My former blog name was the real name that my bonus children call me. When I googled it last week, my former blog name was the fourth result that came up. When I googled it just now, it was number one.
I used aliases for my bonus children in the blog but not for myself or for my in-house daughter. In this day and age, any one of my bonus children could google my name and bam, there is my blog.
I freely admit that after publishing a few specific posts, I was hoping Tanya would find the blog and read it (it’s hard to communicate with a prideful woman), but I NEVER want my children to read it. This blog is not meant for them. Specifically, this blog is for other bonus moms. If it happens to help other women as well, to God be the glory, but it was NEVER EVER meant for my bonus children to read or for my bonus children’s mothers to come across either.
Simply put, while my blogs former name was fitting for me to use, and I liked it a lot because it gave a nick name to the bonus mom title, it was just too easy to find. I originally thought no one would find it if they googled my bonus mom name because there were other results listed first. When I first started, my name appeared on page four. If anyone was looking specifically for me Google searches like I do, if what I want is not listed on the first page, it’s a lost cause. I thought I was safe. But somewhere along the line, my page four listing moved its way up to the prime spot which made it way too easy to be discovered by my little people.
The former name has been deleted from the blog. Aliases have been given where aliases were needed. Comments have been changed to reflect the new names. It’s almost like I am in the blog witness protection program 🙂 Don’t worry. All your comments are in tact; only names were changed where real names were used.
I’ve “lost” many readers. Most of my traffic was driven to the site via social networks linked to my real identity. Those have been removed. My post will no longer show on my activity pages on those sites. Many readers did not subscribe to the blog so if it doesn’t show up on my social network pages, they won’t know where to look. The former blog name is no longer available. I do not have the traffic redirected from the former site to the new site. That would defeat the purpose of the name overhaul.
I ask that, for those that know who I really am, that you respect my pseudo name, Xara Lee, and the name of my in-house daughter, Jazmine.
That being said, I am back to where I was originally. Just another fish in the pond. Another start-up blogger but, I trust the Lord to use this blog as He sees fit…with little or no followers or subscribers.