My husband and I developed a bad habit.
I knew it would lead to trouble but I thought I could catch it in time before that happened.
That same line of thinking is a lie from the pit of hell that gets folk into trouble all of the time.
Our bad habit is speaking to the parent via the child.
Deplorable I know.
I also know that I know better…we know better. But, it was just too easy and it was so simple to do, and it “protected” us from having to deal with the other parent.
I will say that it was thrust upon us initially. With one child having a cell phone and all of the children being told to call and ask us simple questions or make a simple statement (Are you coming this weekend? What time will you be here? Mommy can’t answer because she’s driving). You get the idea.
At first, we refused to participate, demanding to speak to the parent. Then, it seemed less burdensome to just take the communication however it came. Then, we came to enjoy the added “benefit” of not having to deal with the same level of foolishness when listening to the child relay information. But make to mistake about it, there is still foolishness involved. It just becomes harder to address it with a child buffer.
Here is where we fell into the trap.
Saturday evenings are usually when we make contact to find out what time Sunday the children are being picked up or dropped off. My husband used to make those calls. Then it became the other parent calling to speak with their child and asking us through the child what time and where was pickup happening.
It was irritating but then it seemed like an easier option. So, that is what we did. We would call and speak to the child and ask
Communication left up to a nine-year old is bad for everyone.
He is told what time his mother will be here. I ask immediately after he is off the phone what time his mother said she would be arriving. Most of the time, relatively speaking, that works. Today, if failed…epically.
I was out Saturday evening. Before I left, my son was talking to his mother. He asked me, while on the phone with her, what service I would be attending in the morning. I was unsure so I told him I have no idea. I didn’t think my no-answer answer would be a problem since for the past nine years, his mother comes around the same time every time.
When I returned home, I asked my son what time his mother said she would be here. His response was, “I have no idea”. Umhumm.
We are all asleep. I hear a dull thump thump thump sound. I think nothing of it. Not enough of it to rouse me from my sleep. I heard it as background noise that I’d dismissed as being continuing roof work that’s been going on at neighboring housing for the past few days.
The thump thump thump noise continues.
I’m not moving. It’s roof work.
My husband gets up and looks out the window. He sees our son’s mother’s car. Then the doorbell rings.
I still don’t move although I am awake enough to understand that the noise I heard was not roof work.
My husband handles it all in stride. My son heard the knocking but decided not to look out of the window to investigate. (Please don’t ask me why because I have not a clue). My husband lets his mother in, instructs my son to get dressed, helps him pack up his belongings, and sees him to his mother’s car.
As he was seeing him to her car, he notices that it rained some in that short period of time. My husband simultaneously asks and states that that is why she as banging on the door this morning because she was getting rained on.
Lesson learned??? 🙂