Three years ago today at exactly 5:48AM, I became a Mommy.
For the past 72 hours I have been replaying all of the events that transpired three years ago. Everything from going to the doctor’s office to find that they will induce me, to being given the choice to go home and come back tomorrow or have a C-section, to hearing Brian say, “Jazmine is here,” and all in between have saturated my thoughts.
I’ve tried in vain to have a few others go down memory lane with me but no one has been as enthused with my three-years-ago-at-this-exact-time play-by-play as I have been. I have resigned myself to understand that these are Mommy Memories. No one else will quite understand or ever be able to gush as enthusiastically as I do about those last hours of pregnancy and the birth of my precious baby girl. That is not to say that others don’t have very fond, happy, excited memories about the day she was born but hearing others tell it never quite captures my inner feelings about those moment. I can’t even verbalize it completely.
I’ve been in Mom swaps about the births of babies before. I’ve tried to have the best story before. I’ve tried to tell the same story even more dramatically before as well. I think, if we are honest about it, all Moms have done this a time or two. I don’t any longer. I state the facts. Some of which are dramatic in itself but I don’t try to exaggerate it anymore. It’s my memory. No matter how much I up-play or down-play it, it will ALWAYS be special to me.
Going from bonus mom to Mommy was a huge experience for me! March 12 was the day that bonus mom was not the only title that defined my motherhood. Three years ago, at the exact time this blog is going to be published today, I had COMPLETE autonomy over my child (save my husband of course but you get my meaning). I did not have to share her or pull back from giving affection depending on if her mother was around because I was her mother! I didn’t have to find special things we could do together as a family to create lasting memories that were not something she already did at her mom’s house. I didn’t have to find ways to help her forge a better bond with her father. I didn’t have to tax my weekends with trying to plan out how she was going to be seen by all of the family in the time we had.
That is just to name a few. There were so may bonus mom factors on top of the normal new Mommy business. But that is another blog for another time. Right now, Mommy is tired. Our in-house family tradition is to decorate the dinning room with streamers and make whatever cake she desires for her birthday. My husband decorated. I baked. I just finished icing the cupcakes and 2-layer cake for her two-part birthday celebration tomorrow. On top of that, daylight savings stole an hour from me…goodnight.