It’s Been A Long Time Coming

My concern, my bottom line concern, with everything I do is if what I do is pleasing the Lord.  That is my goal.  That is my all.  There is nothing in my life that is off-limits to Him.  No matter how painful, how vulnerable, how passionate, how anticipated, or how (insert-your-choice-of-adjectives-here) it is, it is not off-limits to my Lord.

This past week, God dealt with me concerning necessary confrontations.  I hate confrontations of any kind and would prefer never to have to call anyone out on anything.  Unfortunately, life is not like that.  I have gotten better in this area but I am still shocked that some things require me speaking to it before it changes.  I don’t understand why people think it is okay for them to increasingly step out-of-bounds and be shocked when they are confronted about it?

Over the weekend, my husband was disrespected by the mother of two of my bonus children.  I witnessed it and I heard what was said. My nerve was plucked.  I confronted her. It did not go well.  I was not expecting to have a kumbaya experience with her but I did expect to be heard.  I was not heard.  I was given a run-on explanation of her decisions and I was hung up on when I began my response.  After being hung up on twice, I communicated my thoughts through text.

(I’ve been mulling it all over, over and over again in my mind since the incident occurred. I am truly dumbfounded. Hanging up? Really?  People still do that?  I thought we were grown women?  Hanging up on folk is middle school behavior.  That behavior let me know that I am not dealing with an adult here.  A person can have the age and the responsibilities of an adult but those two things do not make one an adult.  I am not sure how to listen, take in, and respond in truth to someone like this.  I don’t associate on a voluntary basis with anybody who exhibits this behavior.  I am truly at a loss.)

As this incident was on repeat in my mind, I continued to go to God in prayer about it.  Just this evening, I laid out all the cards on the table to Him.  I just need to know that I was/am still pleasing to Him.  I need to know that despite the outcome of the incident that He is still pleased with me; that the juvenile response I received does not mean that He is disappointed by my actions.

This is where confrontations are uncomfortable for me.  The aftermath.  Addressing this woman has been a long time coming.  I want assurance from God that although this post confrontation period is uncomfortable, it does not mean that He is displeased with me.


4 thoughts on “It’s Been A Long Time Coming

  1. Beef

    And this is just one of the reasons why she is on the “smack the crap out of” list. You did what you had to do, you said what needed to be said. Just because you don’t like this period of unrest doesn’t mean He is not pleased. You may not have the platform to speak to all things concerning the bonuses, but you DO have the platform to address ALL THINGS husband related. She has been used to dealing with “Ama X, the woman married to my childrens father”. She never had to deal with “MRS. Lee, the WIFE of my childrens father”. You two just met eachother. Rock on madam!

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