My own sin humbles me every day.
My Pastor preached a couple of weeks ago and said that when we go before the Lord to confess our sins, we aren’t to unspecifically ask for forgiveness. We are to go before the Lord and be very specific of where we sinned.
Once my Pastor preached that part about confessing specifically what your sins are, I was obedient. To further my state of humility, I started to lay prostrate before of the Lord. I felt completely humbled and thoroughly embarrassed to confess anything to Him. I truly felt the burden of my sin and after I confessed, asked for forgiveness, and repented, I truly felt free of my sin; forgiven immediately. Because I couldn’t stand to lay before the Lord in that sin state, it helped me not sin throughout the day. Alas, like everything else in my life, I got lax. I went back to doing what was easy and familiar to me. I stared making unspecific confessions and saying them while laying in my bed before going off to sleep or in the morning before taking off in our van.
It isn’t until now, less than 24 hours after committing a sin that I struggle with, that I find myself once again in the position of taking that long trip from standing to kneeling/laying in front of the Lord.
The sin I struggle with is lust of the flesh. It presents itself in my thought life. If I don’t win the battle there, it takes shape in the physical. I get tired of going to the Lord with this same old crap! I want to get better, to be better! Sometimes I don’t even realize I am sinning in my thought life until it has gone too far. But that’s sin isn’t it. It will ALWAYS take you further than you want to go.
So now, with great humility, embarrassment, and shame, I go before the Lord to confess, ask for forgiveness and repent. I hope this time I last longer (for lack of a better way of say this) between sin episodes.