I’ve made four major blunders this year. I am determined to make the most recent one the last.
I opened my mouth and wrote a check that my butt couldn’t cash.
First blunder. I can’t remember if I wrote about this before or not. I will quickly summarize. Two of my sisters wanted to plan something big for their birthday’s this year. I was just as excited as they were about planning the festivities. I verbally committed myself to their plans as early as last summer only to have to turn around and back out on them right at crunch time. I felt, still feel, horrible about that.
Second blunder. I expressed interest in joining one of my sisters in an upcoming activity she was doing. I verbally committed myself to that as well only to have to back out four days before her event. I am so ashamed of myself.
Third blunder. I planned a get together with three of my sisters in the next few days. I planned this event two weeks ago. Today, I had to send a very embarrassing text message (we talk through text so this was not out of the ordinary) cancelling the very event I created. My head is still hanging low about this.
Fourth (and Lord willing, final) blunder. A friend of ours asked if I would drop off something to another friend of ours. I looked at what I was to deliver. It was information about a trip. I was so excited and asked them if we, my husband and I, could go along. I was told we were next on the list to hear about it so absolutely we could go. Numbers were crunched. Dates were set. All that was needed now was for us to confirm with a deposit. Again, I had to back out.
Why? Why all this backing out foolishness? I’ll tell you. Genesis 3:16 sums it up quite nicely. It says, “Your desire shall be for your husband , And he shall rule over you.” Sometimes I hate that verse. I could mess Eve up right now for starting all of this.
About two months ago, my husband drastically changed the direction of our funds. It was for the best and very much-needed. The problem was my verbal commitments. I thought that because I already made my commitment$ prior to this drastic change that my plans would be grandfathered in. I was sorely mistaken. Blunders 2-4 came after the funding changes. I thought I would still be able to participate in blunders 2 and 3 because I spoke with him about it previously (discussed cost etc). Again, not true. Things sound real good on paper but when it comes to actually shelling out the dough, that’s when the real comes out.
I started to get angry because I was so disappointed. My blunders did not occur privately but publicly on a grand scale involving people I love and respect. I was embarrassed and wanted to direct my anger at my husband. At various times during my blunders, I have certainly desired to rule over my husband or at the very least bully him into getting what I wanted. The latter tactic “works” but as Proverbs 14:1 says it would be foolish to pull down my house with my hands. Manipulation is foolish.
The most recent blunder, number four, was a long shot. I thought that since the event wasn’t scheduled until next year and that it was for the two of us, that it could work. Wisdom says if you don’t have it [money] now, don’t bank on it later. I know that. I teach that. But that day, my feelings got the best of me and I was going to make it work. Now, again, I am the heel. It won’t happen again. I am not committing myself to ANYTHING!