It’s been easy to criticize Tanya. I’ve always seen something she can do better, something she needs to change, or some form of improvement I thought she could make for the betterment of herself and her children. Tanya is the mother of two of my bonus children, Bella and Scott.
Things have gotten harder recently. The education of our children is important to all of us. Recently, things have caught up with the Greenhouse. Things we knew were going on but not being said have come to light in a major way. We, my husband and I, are not the only ones who see it which makes the exposure even brighter. We are hoping this is a turning point for the better but there isn’t much we can do. We haven’t been allowed to be involved to the extent where we could make a difference before which makes any attempt now to assist laughable (at least to me).
I wore the most recent news about Bella and Scott very heavy on my shoulders. It made me sick that things have gotten so desperate and that we were only privy to what’s been going on for the entire year yesterday. It was then that I heard God speak.
He said, I don’t know what it’s like. I don’t know what it’s like to be single. I don’t know what it’s like to be a single mom. I don’t know what it’s like to be a single mom with to two children. I don’t know what it’s like to be a single mom to two children in this economy. I don’t know what it’s like to have to be to work before my children leave the house in the morning and get home three hours after they do. I don’t know what it’s like to have to operate day in and day out in exhaustion. I don’t know what it’s like.
I didn’t like hearing it yesterday because I was still fired up angry at her for hearing how out of hand things had gotten at the ninth hour, that I didn’t let God’s words to me penetrate my heart. I did, however, receive them this morning. I really don’t know what it’s like. How can I be so harsh in my thinking towards her if I don’t understand?
There are always opinions. There is always room for improvement in everyone, myself included. I still have my opinions, suggestions, and advice that I think would help but I am no longer watchful for the day when I can express myself in that way.