I stole this from a friend’s status post on Facebook, with her permission of course (or not). We were college roommates. She put up with a lot of my foolishness then so I thought she could indulge me one more time (love you Nikia!).
5 out of every 10 women are haters. Thinks about it. We all know women who never have anything positive to say about another woman. “Oh those are some nice shoes she has on” Hater chic, “They aight, her make-up is bad and she don’t have on the right dress.”
It’s been said that haters aren’t born, they’re made. Haterisim (making up words is so fun) is a choice just like anything else. I don’t remember when I decided to practice haterism but I do remember when I stopped. Haterisim is a bad seed. That seed grows roots and can take a LONG time to get out. I remember when I stopped practicing haterism and got those roots out (covetousness/lust of the eyes) but there was a teeny tiny root that God showed me was still there. Hating on my sister.
My head is hanging in shame even as I write this. It’s times like this that I hate sharing but I hope to God that my foolish behavior will help somebody from acting dumb like me.
I think I have said this at one time or another but, I am the oldest of four. I have two sisters and my brother is the youngest. All four of us have had the same frame since we were very young. My youngest sister and I were very slender, my brother had a medium muscular build, and my younger sister was thick. Body shape was not important in our house growing up but being healthy was and we were all healthy.
I got used to our frames. I expected it to remain like that. I was a size 10 and always expected to remain a size 10. I haven’t seen a size 10 in so long that I am hoping that the number arrangement for ten is still a one followed by a zero! Obviously, I am not a size ten. That was okay though. I wasn’t a size ten but I was still smaller than my sister. (I am so ashamed. I am going to plug through and finish the story to hopefully benefit someone else)
Something happened last year. February 14, 2010, my sister decided she was going to make a change. It was a gift to herself. She was going to lose weight. I encouraged her. I was very excited for her. Our brother wrote up a 10 week eating plan for her and she started Valentine’s Day. Our mom could see a difference in two weeks. With each passing week after that we all could see a difference. In 10 weeks she lost 25 pounds! The girl looked good! ALL of her clothes were falling off of her. It got to the point were we, our family, implored her to please buy some new pants because they looked like tents on her.
Her weight loss story didn’t stop there. Oh no. SHE KEPT IT OFF! I was floored. I was not able to do that. I would gain weight and lose it but get tired of keeping up with the necessary lifestyle changes and put it all back on and then some. Not my sister. She kept it off.
Then, she got a personal trainer. She first met with her twice a week for five weeks. She lost five pounds in five weeks. I remember saying, “That’s it?” I would have been salty if I spent money on a personal trainer and only lost one pound a week. Well, that was before I saw the before and after pictures. I thought she was thin before! She was darn near invisible now! She lost inches upon inches upon inches! I was amazed.
That was it! I had had enough. I said, if she could do it, dagnabit so could I! (Here is when the hating begins). I asked my sister to float me over the same eating plan that our brother gave her. She did. Then I asked her to send me her tips she used to help her in the 10 weeks. She did. Then I asked her to go to the store with me to help me get the foods I needed to carry out the plan. She did. (Clear to see which sister completely sucks in sisterly behavior at this point isn’t it? )
I started on her plan. I worked out more than she did for longer periods of time than she did. I followed a slightly harsher eating plan than she did even though I used her plan. Guess how much weight I lost in five weeks? ZIP! ZERO! NADA! That’s right ladies and gentlemen. I LOST BUTKUS!
So, not to be out done (this is so sad), I called our brother, in Germany, and asked him to write an eating plan for me, which he did. The plan he wrote me was for eight weeks. I stayed on it for about three weeks and I lost NOTHING! What did happen is I felt weak and extremely fatigued. I couldn’t understand it! I was exercising more than my sister did. I was eating on a different eating plan that was more strict than hers was and I still wasn’t losing weight. In fact, I actually gained two pounds and NO, it was not muscle!
I was at my wit’s end! It was only after I went to the doctor’s office to have test run that told me I was fine, when I heard the voice of the Lord while reading one day. He said to me, “It’s not your time to shine.” Man alive! I was hurt but relieved, happy, and sad at the same time. I was hurt because I thought that meant I wasn’t going to be allowed to lose weight. Relieved because that meant my failed efforts wasn’t human error on my part. Happy because it was a load off my mind to be no longer consumed with losing weight as fast as I can. Sad because I understood clearly that He had to tell me that because I was trying to out shine my sister.
I am so sorry sister! I am so sorry for trying to jump into your spotlight. You shine on! I will no longer try in any way to block your shine with mine. I’ve got your back. You can trust me. Ride or die fool! Ride or die! (said in my best Madea voice)