“Most Of My Friends Are Men”

Personally, I never understood this concept growing up.  I didn’t get how a girl could have more guy friends than girl friends.  I enjoyed the company of my girlfriends growing up.  I didn’t always get along with each girl.  There were some girls that rubbed me the wrong way.  There were also times when my circle of friends diminished because I wasn’t really being a friend to them.  However, through it all, I valued girlfriends.

Sometime this year, I had a chance to talk to a guy who had a lot of female friends.  I asked why he had so many.  I asked him about his guy friends and he said he had few and didn’t share with them the way he did with is female friends.  No, the man was not gay.  He just never had more men in his friend circle than woman.

After talking to him and watching his interaction with others, I saw why that was.

When a woman counsels/give advice to a man, we tend to come off soft even when we are being hard.  When we are being really harsh, it is usually an emotional response instead of pure counseling.  We are women.  We are not wired to speak man.  We are wired to speak woman.

Men whose friends consists majorly of woman are men who don’t want or are afraid of the truth about themselves.  Men know how to talk to men. Women know how to talk to women.  Men call men on their bull crap in a way that shakes them and often makes them angry because the truth cuts.  Women can call a man on their bull crap as well but not in the same voice as a man can.  We can say the same words but they won’t be heard or received the same way as when a man says it. (Married women, you know what I’m talking about).

We, women, are nurturing by nature.  We look to comfort and soothe even when we are being harsh.  More often than not, our first resort is to nicely tell someone off.  Men will soak up the niceties and throw out the truth of what we are saying.  They can’t do that when another man is speaking to them.

Now ladies, the same is true for us.  Men seek to protect, shield, and provide.  If you come to a man with a problem, his natural instinct is to fix it.  If we women have mostly male friends, you too are afraid of the truth..whatever the truth might be.  A woman is going to call you on your bull crap in a voice where you hear the truth.  A woman is going to give it to you straight and give you suggestions, not try to solve your problems for you.  Women hear women because women speak women.

 

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