An Accurate Mommy Argument; No Daddy Bashing Needed

I read an article this evening.  Just now.  About a half hour ago.  I am still tingling.  I am so excited and relieved to have seen and bear witness to someone’s accurate and well articulated biblical description of a Mommy.  I am wowed.  (Yes, I just made up yet another word).  Truly wowed.  I am in awe of how honest, deep, and raw, the author’s points were.

The author is Kari Lewis.  With her permission, I have excerpted her article below and have fleshed it out with some words of my own.  It’s things I know I have said or penned before but never as pinpoint accurate as Ms. Kari laid out in her article, No One Else Named Mom.

Kari begins her article describing a Mom who finds her worth in sharing with others but not from raising her children.  Please read her article.  I am only going to pull a few key points out here but her entire article is so timely and so needed.

What was wrong in my friend’s life? She was living out a proper, Godly focus at an improper season of life! She desired to be used by God, but failed to see that her most important ministry at this stage of her life (and for many years to come) was her home and her children—not the church or the world. The right thing at the wrong time equals the wrong thing! Seasons and priorities.  Not every season lasts forever no matter how harsh it seems at the time.  The blizzard of ’96 didn’t last until ’98 even though it might have felt like it would.  Breastfeeding won’t last forever.  Crying before going to bed won’t last forever.  Not being able to watch any of your television shows when they originally air won’t last forever.  It’s a season.  Your husband and your children are your priority!

Tragically, my friend’s heart was not truly and fully at home with her children. I am so saddened when I hear women choosing to find their worth outside of the home as if serving your family isn’t enough.  Who isn’t it enough for?  It certainly is enough for God.

We all want significance or acceptance, and we have a natural tendency toward selfishness. We have hopes, dreams or plans,…If we’re truthful, most of us would admit that occasionally we have a teensy-weensy tendency, no matter what we say with our mouths to the contrary, to feel that children are messy, noisy distractions to be endured during our quest for “meaning” or “life” as we want it to be. To purify precious metals, you put them in the fire.  Children are an adults fire.  Raising children cause you to reevaluate relationships, examine yourself, and to really know why you do what you do.  They are not a byproduct of life.

A slight rewording of John 15:13 may be helpful for us Christian moms: “Greater love hath no mom than this, that a mom lay down her life for her family.” Mommyhood is a selfless act that does not begin with conception and end with delivering your child.  It is a daily, monthly, and yearly choice to lay down what you “rightfully” can do, to do what needs to be done.

Motherhood is time consuming; it takes vast effort, thought, care, creativity, and selflessness to be done well—but the blessings of fulfilling that high calling are well worth every sacrifice! I’ve never seen Mommy who did this and struggle with overcompensation at the same time.  I don’t think it’s possible.  If your family is your priority, and not something to be balanced with other wants of life, you are constantly meeting needs.  No overcompensation necessary.

Our ministries and mission fields are in our homes and children. Our highest calling is in the baby that cried off and on last night seemingly just because he loves to hear his voice reverberate through the quiet house. It is in our 3-year-old when she asks her trillionth “why” question of the morning. It is in our 6-year-old as he uproariously spouts off yet another knock-knock joke. It is in our 10-year-old as he struggles with math. Our children are not our distractions.  They are our delight.  They are not our job.  They are our joy.  Let’s not make their normal growing pains our pains of life.

Our ministry is learning to take immense pleasure in being with our children, laughing, working, talking, praying, learning and playing—no matter how old or young they are. I didn’t want to become a Mommy for the first four years (I think) of our marriage largely because we had children already but also because I knew the high calling Mommyhood would require.  Parenthood ends when you breathe your last.  I am 32 years old and I still need my Mommy and Daddy.  (Yes.  I still call them Mommy and Daddy.  That is who they always have been and always will be to me).

No one else named “Mom” lives in our homes… As awesome of a bonus mom I aspire to be for my bonus babies.  As much as I love them, ache for them, want for them, fear for them, and enjoy them, I will never EVER be their Mommy.  That’s never been my goal.    Bonus moms represent the Mommy role in our homes but our bonus children’s Mom’s must be the Mom in their home.  We, bonus moms, can’t and aren’t to replace that.  As a Mommy, we have a high calling that does not end.  When Jazmine first starting sleeping through the night, I would say that my Mommy hours were from 8AM to 10PM.  She would sleep 10 hours so I said I was off.  (sigh) Little did I know.  Shortly after making that statement, girlfriend wouldn’t go to sleep until after 11PM and then would get up around 3AM to nurse!  I was fit to be tied.  That is when I began to realize that asleep or awake, near or far, Mommy is open 24/7.

Thank you Kari Lewis for such an AWESOME article!


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