Initially, I hated to admit it. I really did. It was like saying that I would not have been a better Mommy if it wasn’t for being a Bonus Mom first. I couldn’t handle that. I wanted to be a good Mommy in my own right, not due to my bonus mom experience. I felt like admitting that was a rip off! They got to be a good Mommy all my themselves and I could only get there by stepping on their shoulders?!? No way! After fighting against the thought, I had to admit it. Being a Bonus Mom did help me become a better Mommy.
I had a lot of hands on experience with my oldest bonus son. I bathed him, fed him, bought him clothes, took him to the doctors to get a shot, took him to his first dentist appointment…you get the idea. That was my son. His mother was the one who came up with her son calling me Mama X. (Up until yesterday, I thought it was my mother-in-law’s idea.) She shared her son with me from the day my husband and I got married. That is my son!
She taught our son sign language. She taught him how to write his letters when he was two. She used a visor to wash his hair in the bath tub. She lotioned his body morning and night every night (he had eczema). She used a waterless cleanser on him every other night. Those are just a few things I remember right now but I copied what she did with him to the letter with Jazmine.
My eldest son’s Mom was my blue print on what I wanted to teach Jazmine. I have called her for advice regarding educating Jazmine and her health (ie. using a humidifier). If I didn’t have my Bonus Mom experience with my oldest son, I highly doubt I would be the Mommy I am today with Jazmine. I am so grateful to her for that.
PS. Yes. I have told her this, several times 🙂