Friends. How Many Of Us Have Them

Preface I have written this post three times already but up until this point, I haven’t been able to get my words right.  The Holy Spirit kept tugging at me about it.  I thought I had gotten it right and set it to publish only to go back into it earlier today and stop it from doing so.  I just pray that what I write is glorifying to Him.  Also, please note that when I say friend, I mean in the high school sort of way and not what a real friend is.  In high school, a friend to me was anyone I associated with and who’s company I didn’t mind keeping.

I recently read someones Facebook status update where they said that they had recently met up with some good friends from college.  It struck nerve in me.  I don’t have that tight-knit, Sex In The City friendship with anyone from my school days.  I longed to have that.  When I was younger, I always saw myself as having a group of life long girlfriends that I meant during my school days but that is not the case.

It took me all those years plus some to learn that you have to be a friend to have a friend.  The Bible says in Prov. 11:25 that one who refreshes others will also be refreshed. Growing up, I only wanted to refresh others when it was convenient for me.  I missed out on the opportunity to have a closer relationship with girlfriends I’ve meant along the way.  I regret that.  I really do.

I remember a time in high school when I was talking to someone I was friends with outside of the front entrance of the school.  She and I were chatting and I saw something.  I don’t remember exactly what it was but I remember I wanted to be inside in the lobby of the school where I saw some action taking place.  I started to walk away from my friend so I could go inside.  She grabbed my arm and said, “Wait a minute.  I want to talk to you.”  I should have given her my undivided attention right then and there.  I should have shown her all the care and concern I possessed to let her know that I had her back and I was there for her.  Suffice it to say, I didn’t do that.  I was annoyed that I had to stay there and listen instead of leaving her company to be in the mix.  I am sure my annoyance showed because I don’t remember having a long conversation after that.

The Bible does not lie.  That which you sow, you shall also reap (Gal. 6:7).  I have certainly changed a lot since high school but that still haunts me.  That was just one incidence but I know I acted a fool just like that on several occasions with other friends of mine.   I was selfish.  I wasn’t a true friend.  I didn’t sow anything good during my growing up years to warrant me anything close to a life-long friendship.

I would only let friendships grow but so far.  I didn’t ever want it to get too deep.  I didn’t want the other person to depend on me too much.  I didn’t want to be tied down.  I didn’t want the friend to become too needy.  At the first sign of neediness, I put some distance between us real quick.  Any closeness that I did allow from the other person was normally because I was being nosy, liked to gossip, and wanted to hear all of their drama.  I liked to be in the group but I also liked to do my thing and if a potential long-term friend got in the way of me doing my thing, I cut them off with a quickness.

I know.  That is horrible but that is who I was.  You can’t reap tight, close-knit bonds when you haven’t sown them.

I do have true friends now.  I have cultivated relationships with others to develop real friendships but it saddens me that I don’t have that we-go-back-like-two-cornrows-and-a-bang type of relationship.  I have plenty of longevity relationships but very few of them are happy reunions waiting to happen and I am so sorry for that.

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4 thoughts on “Friends. How Many Of Us Have Them

  1. That’s the one thing too. I missed cultivating a friendship from child hood because we moved a few times. Although my friends and I tried to keep in touch, sometimes we just grow apart different interest. Sometimes I wasn’t a very good friend. I am committed to getting better. Especially since I found the best friend ever…Jesus. The best example ever.
    Recently, I was reunited with a girlfriend I known for 17 years. I told her she cannot disappear again. Not under any circumstances. That is what friends are for to encourage, uplift, to listen, to be silly with, to be serious or just whatever.

    • Thank you for reading! The good thing about old friendships now days is that Facebook can help reconnect. Unless they deactivate their account, you can’t lose touch anymore. 🙂

    • Thank you. To God be the glory! I really appreciate your comment. I’m sorry it took so long to reply. WordPress put your comment in the spam box. I just happened to go through it this evening. Also Laci, would you consider subscribing to my blog? You won’t have to use Google anymore 🙂

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