I’m A Chicken In Recovery

I read a quote today that said, “Most people slip by in life without a passion for God, spending their lives on trivial diversions, living for comfort and pleasure…[Don’t] get caught up in a life that counts for nothing…Learn to live for Christ, and don’t waste your life!”  It made an impression on me.  Ever since I took the link to this blog off of FB I have been second guessing myself to see if my decision was best or something I needed to grow through.  I usually use my husband as a measuring stick for my decision making.  He didn’t agree with removing the link from FB.

I remember being told a few years ago that people are afraid of success.  Am I afraid that this blog will be successful?  My idea of success in this situation is people outside of those I know personally to follow this blog.  I don’t have a number of subscribers in mind.  Am I afraid of criticism that undoubtably comes when you share a part of yourself?  Am I afraid that I will be accused of being something I am not?  Am I afraid that my words will be taken and used out of context?  Am I afraid that I will have another Saul Moment and not make the right choice?  Am I afraid that all of my struggles with sin will be a point of ridicule?  Am I afraid that I will unintentionally misrepresent God?  The answer to all of those questions is a resounding YES!!!!!  I’m freaking out over here!

Psalms 1:3a says “He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water”.  When I read that verse, I visualize a tree of average tree height with deep roots.  The visual part of the tree has a nice build.  It looks like a healthy tree but it is not until the wind blows that you see all its strength is in its roots.  I see  a tree blown so hard by the wind that the visual top part of the tree is parallel with the ground.  The only thing that is sure and stand fast are the roots.  That is me right now.  That is what I see.  I am shaking to death linking this blog back to FB and then making another bare-my-soul post.  I take comfort that I am rooted.  I know that God has not given me a spirit of fear (2Tim. 1:7) but it is hard to determine if I am acting out of fear or wisdom.  I think of Joseph.  He ran when He was face to face with sin (Gen. 39: 11-12).  That was smart.  Then I think of Elijah.  After a great victory in the Lord, Elijah ran away after Jezebel threatened to kill him (1Kings 18:16 – 19:18).  That was fear…but I understand him completely!

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