I hate it when my authority is undermined. It is so Frustrating! Its happened in different situations with different people about different things and it gets under my skin each and every time. It usually takes me a minute to realize what has taken place but when realization hits, I am quite salty. Once someone has made repeated attempts to undermine my authority, I am on alert. Any further attempt to do so gets shut down immediately lest they think it is acceptable.
My authority has been undermined as wife, bonus mom, and mother.
My authority has been undermined as a wife when chicken heads speak to my husband as if they know him best. I know that man! I live with that man! I know who he has grown in Christ to be now and not treat him according to how he used to be years ago. When any woman speaks to my husband in such a way as to belittle his thoughts or feelings they have insulted me as well. Their very speech implies that they know him best based on “history”. Well, I have news for you. The here and now is what’s happening.
My authority has been undermined as bonus mom. This has typically happened when it’s just me and my big kids. It has happened when I attend a school function (field trip, play, recital etc) or a birthday party. Basically, any venue that I am there with other adults that know the child and their mother but are not friends of mine. In these cases, one of the other adults takes care to correct something I’ve told my big kid to do or not do as if I am completely inept on how to care for them. In all fairness, they don’t know me and I think they believe that they are only looking out for the good of my big kid since their mother may not be there or near by. Either way, it makes me salty. It is so unnecessary. When it happens I just want to tell them to mind their own business but I don’t want to cause a scene.
It really butters my biscuits when my mothering is undermined. I am not the best mother in the world. (I don’t know what that statement even means. It’s so relative anyway.) I set out to do right by God (period) and by doing that I know Jazmine will be well cared for. I don’t expect for people to agree with how I care for her, things I do with her or teach her. I know why I do what I do and that is enough. I don’t look for the approval of “others”. As long as my husband and I are on the same page (and it is not against God’s Word) it’s all good. I am always open for suggests and I practice being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath (James 1:19) for those who offer suggestions, both asked and unasked for alike. So, for anyone to try to make my practices null and void is completely rude.
I am human too. For every struggle that I’ve grown through with Christ, for every area that I have matured in, there is yet another area untapped. I am not perfect. I fall short on a regular basis but, I run my race as if perfection was possible.
For all women out there, especially other bonus moms, I just wanted you to know that if having your authority undermined in your personal life has happened to you, you are not alone. It’s happened to me, and I am sure it will happen again because people are people. Unfortunately, our position as bonus moms make us easy targets. We are already in a tough position. When you get used to being shot in the same spot, you tend to stop paying attention to who is pulling the trigger. By that I mean we have gotten used to being undermined as an bonus mom and that has spilled over into our roles as wives and mothers as well. I understand the frustration. I feel it too. Like I said, it really butters my biscuits but, I know from experience that it will pass and we will face it again even more wise but gentle all the same (Matt. 10:16).