IT ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTS ME THAT I HAVE FOUND MYSELF TRYING TO PLEASE MEN INSTEAD OF JUST PLEASING GOD!
It didn’t even occur to me that that is what I was doing until recently. I like to make people laugh but my success rate is not high. I often end up failing miserably even though I get a kick out of whatever I said. In my most recent attempts to add humor, I was met with some comments that disturbed me. Nothing rude nor unkind was said but the tone that was uses was disturbing. It was a teaching-boarderline-condescending tone one would use when trying to educate a fool. I was caught off guard by it because I didn’t know what would have brought that about but now I understand.
From the onset of the relationship, when trying to reach out and befriend this person, I dumbed myself down. I didn’t speak like a woman that knows Christ. No, I wasn’t cussing or telling dirty jokes etc, but I wasn’t letting God shine through me in my manner of speech either. I was trying to blend in instead of stand out.
Sometimes, when getting to know someone and develop a friendship, I hit a wall. The first thing I do is examine myself. (Maybe one of my attributes is off-putting to them.) However, there is another reason, a rather important reason, why some friendships are not forged between me and another person and that is my relationship with Jesus.
After I try what seems like everything else to try to tear down walls and barriers and meet folk where they are and befriend them only to see that nothing is working, that is when I remember Jesus. I don’t know why it takes me so long to get to that point! When I realize it, I have a Duh Moment. Like, “Duh! HELLO! You didn’t see this at the beginning? Sheesh!” It’s only after my Duh Moment, and unfortunately in this instance it took me several months to get it, do I realize that the wall that is up is spiritual and not man made. There isn’t a barrier because of a difference in preference. There is a difference in ownership. I am owned by God! He bought me with a price, which is the blood of Jesus, and I accept it, I believe it, and I have been transformed by it.
No more dumbing down what I know about Him to befriend someone. That is not friendship. You know the saying “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk”? Well, “Friends don’t let friends go to hell”. Now let me clear that up. I can’t prevent anyone I know from going to hell. It is a personal choice to accept or to reject Jesus as your Savior and Lord. However, I can share Jesus with anyone so that they have an opportunity to accept Him for themselves thereby not going to hell.
I now walk with more boldness. I feel like a lioness. (ROAR!!!! Lionesses do roar right?)
I remember praying and asking the Lord sometime last year how is it that David felt so bold when he ran towards Goliath? This child was running with a slingshot to face a sho’ nuff’ giant and had absolutely no fear! I just didn’t get it! I could visualize myself going out to meet Goliath but I certainly wasn’t running and the term “meet” would have had to be specified in yardage because I didn’t want to get close enough to smell his breath. But praise God. He has given me understanding now. David ran with the confidence of knowing that His God was God. I know have that same confidence. I know my God is God and I will represent Him with boldness of speech to the best of my ability, with the help of the Holy Spirit of course.