My girlfriend Deborah often says, “Are you in your feelings today?” when talking to a toddler who isn’t being friendly. Most recently, she said that to my 13 month old (Jazmine) because she was refusing to come over and see her. I thought about that statement for a while. It is so true. We, as adults, often get into our feelings too. That really rang true yesterday.
I was having a particularly happy moment early yesterday morning. When that feeling occurred, my first thought was “what can I do for someone else today?”. Then I remember that it was Cinco de Mayo. So, immediately, without forethought, I reached for my cell phone and sent out a “let’s get together” text. The responses came in rather quickly. My happy feeling quickly gave way to feeling pressured. My quick action after having my happy moment didn’t allow for me to think through to see if my husband could watch Jazmine, or check with my hubby first to see if we had anything scheduled. I completely forgot about the personal vow I took to myself that forbade me to go out this evening. (No need to go into details about said vow at this point in time). I got so caught up that it didn’t even register that I had Wednesday night Bible Study!
Then again this evening, I got all in my feelings again. My husband told me that we could hang out a bit this evening after Jazmine was asleep. I was looking forward to it. However our evening was dashed by miscommunication and a crying toddler who didn’t want to do anything but lay on Mommy. (Sigh). I was all in my feelings after that. I didn’t try to “rise above” or “cap the negative” in mind. I was just through. I even snapped at my husband. I had no cause to do so. He didn’t do anything wrong. Heck, for that matter, Jazmine didn’t do anything wrong either. She’s teething. She has three teeth coming in. Two up top and one on the bottom but all of them are her back teeth. Jazmine usually goes down at 10PM but tonight, she didn’t fall asleep until after 1AM (and of course she was on Mommy but Mommy fell asleep before she did so I can only approximate the time she went to sleep by the last time I looked at the clock and the time I woke up).
The point is, being in my feelings, regardless of how the feelings came about and how justified I can be over my feelings, I didn’t have to stay in them. I chose to do that. I chose to dwell on what was happening at the moment and not think past it. If I thought past my happy feeling in the morning, I would have made a better choice that did not have me canceling on my friends. If I thought past my disappointment this evening, I would have stopped trying to have my me time and just laid down with Jazmine. She would have gone to sleep sooner and I could have had my time at a decent hour instead of being up until after 5AM. You see, I stayed in my feelings until after 4AM. It took me that long to realize that I was really in my feelings. You waste so much time staying in your feelings instead of feeling and moving on.